"What if?"

That is such a loaded question. I have learned through out the year that I can be a what if person. What if this happens..what if that? I should probably be asleep considering the fact that I have two ear infections and a sinus infection. But I was given a Celestone shot and so I am wide awake. Anyway back to the topic. I remember when I was younger becoming scared when I asked the what if questions too much. I could build up these big problems that were way to ridiculous to probably ever come true. I remember one time my mom made some hamburger helper with some meat and she did not know for sure whether it was still good and so she joked about us all getting sick and having to go to the hospital and possibly dieing. (Please know she was joking and my family some times has a strange since of humor). I remember coming into the room that night scared to death thinking what if we die. Of course come to think of it I may have been the one that imagined up the dieing part. What can I say I have a nak for worrying...sadly it runs in my family. Any way growing up it only got worse...I could "what if?" anything and believe me I did. But in the past few years I have also realized that having a "what if?" way of thinking really does no one any good.

I mean as humans we are always going to fall in to the trap sometimes of "what ifs". What if I had chosen a different college..or what if I had chosen different friends....what if such and such had not happened in my past. I think that is one question that has plagued me a good bit. For those that don't know my biological father died in a car accident when I was two. I have no memories of him..only pictures. I think my older sister has some memories but does not share them nor does my mom. But I often wonder what would be different if he had not died? Would I still be where I am today...would I have made it here earlier...how would life be different?

But anyway I digress....being a what if person is never healthy...I do believe Jesus said in one of my favorite passages "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew6:27. How true is this, in fact if you look at the following two statements I think you will find it actually can take years away: Stress contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes, and other illnesses in many individuals and stress also affects the immune system, which protects us from many serious diseases.

I am sure all of you already know all of these facts. I only bring it up because I think in this time worry is something everyone is doing more and more. Are their problems in the world...yes...will we have all the answers...no. If we did have all the answers I think that we might not find ourselves a little less likely to have faith. I am writing this and ever as we speak I am worried about my grandfather, my family...how I am going to finish all the assignments I have this semester(lol).

Anyway...I wish that I could say that I am no longer a worrier but its just not true. But I am reminded of this verse every time I begin to worry. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34 Life is going to have its ups and downs its sad and good times...but as long as we lean on the Lord and put our faith in him we will be OK. Grant it things may not always turn out the way we want or expected to but God is in control. I am learning to lean more and more on that fact everyday.

Anyway...those are my thoughts..nothing profound or new...just a small piece of me that I wanted to share. Love ya and God bless!