The whys have it...

I'm a why person, I don't really know why but I am. I want to always know the reason behind things. Even small things, I will even sometimes ask why something happened the way it did in a movie. I don't remember being this way as a child, I am not really sure when this habit or need started. I know that working with kids "why" is the question that gets asked all the time. I have even found myself telling kids "because I said so" something I never thought I would say. Maybe since I was not overly questiontative as a child I am trying to make up for lost time.

Earlier this week I was preparing a lesson for kids and trying to put my thoughts together on something that I read. I kept re-reading it, trying to make heads or tails of why something happened the way it did. I think it is an ever present question that exist in life sometimes. I know I have my fair share of whys:

• Why did God call a girl to ministry who always feels completely inadequate. 
• Why did God move me to a place where I knew absolutely no one..well this one I know the answer. He wanted and wants me to trust him with every factor of my life. 
• Why did God tell Balaam to go with Balak and then get made when he did...this one was from our lesson. 
• Why can't I be as crafty and able to do all the things on my Pinterest board. 

I am sure that I could fill up pages with they "whys" that pop into my head on a regular basis. I am sure every one else has "whys" that they ask on a regular basis too. There are deeper "whys" in my head, like why did my biological father die...that one one is always followed with, what would life be like if he hadn't. Why did God send his Son to die when on a daily basis we see how much of a sinful people we are. So many whys. But the one thing that I always come back to is that I was just not meant to know the answer to everything. Some may say its because it may be too much for any one person to handle. It may be that I would not like the answer. So many different choices to pick from. There are two verse that pop into my head each time I get to asking my questions...

The fact is that I will never know "why" some things happen as they do, but I can put my trust in God who knows far more and better then I ever will.

That epic love story...

So I don’t know if you know this, but on iTunes there is a station called Frozen radio and it has all this music from Disney and Pixar movies. So for the past few weeks I have been jamming out to that when getting ready in the morning. Now before you judge, you know that you have belted out to some “Hakuna Matata” or “Part of your World.” Anyway recently I was listening to the station when the song that is from the intro to the movie ‘Up’ played, if you haven’t seen it here check it out….

Ok, so if you are like me you cried…I mean how could you not! I love this...

I have to say I kind of agree, while everything in Ellie and Carl’s life didn't go exactly as planned it was a pretty epic love story. Speaking of love stories as I write this I am watching the story of Ruth, talk about another love story. Just thought I would give you a little added info. But back to my original reason for writing, I blame Disney for a lot of things, my hair expectations, wanting woodland creatures to appear and clean when I sing, and how could we not mention “prince charming.” I mean we can really blame Disney for a good bit, doesn’t mean I don’t love to watch the movies or would love to go to the park again, it’s just fact.  

But back to prince charming….I think all us girls have that idea in mind of who, when, and how we expect for our “prince charming” or “Carl” to show up. We wait and pray and look forward to the day that someone will accept us for who we are and love us. We dream of setting up house, having dinner cooked at night, talking over a meal, and watching a movie. I look for someone who will lead our family to be strong followers of Christ to serve in ministry with all those things that couples do together. But I think sometimes we miss the point, we do have someone that loves us without limits, really loves us more than our “prince charming” or “Carl” will…

Who is this person you might ask…um…Jesus. I know it sounds a little cliché or like something a minister or Christian would say, but it is true. I mean come on the man died on a cross, so that we would have a chance at eternal life when it was the last thing we deserved. He makes a way for us to have a relationship with God the Father, who loved us enough to send his son. I on a daily basis ask myself why he would do this but the simple fact is…God loves us, more then I think we can ever fathom.

I do look for the day and pray for the I will meet my “prince charming” or my “Carl.” That man, who will put up with my overwhelming number of corny jokes, can deal with my sometimes quite ditzy moments, my love for history and reading, who can handle my fear of the uncertainty and subsequent need to control a situation. I also want to give him just as much if not more of what he needs. So I will wait, but while I wait I will remember that I am loved with a love that I don’t think will ever make sense to me…

My Third "job"

So I know what you are thinking, “Mandy you only have one job, what is the third job talk?” Well let me say I have two jobs in one I’m a children’s minister and then I am a preschool director two very different jobs, even though they both involve children and families. One I am more of the fun Mandy and the other I have to be more serious many or as the kids call me “The Principle.” Now this third job it’s not paying, I wish it was because man I would make a killing with it! I wish I didn't have it because it is really annoying. I wish with everything I had I could get rid of it, but alas I have yet to get rid of it. What is this bothersome third “job” you might ask (or might not)…over thinking or over analyzing.

Now before you tell me that’s not really a job let me just list some of the things that go on with this “job.” It is a constant thing; it’s something that I do every day. I don’t want to say all day, but a good portion of the day. Usually it wears me out, you see because I don’t just over think or analyze one thing. You see I will come to a conclusion or end point of wondering about one thing or an issue and thing praise the Lord! Then give me time and something comes up with the “solution” or outcome that I ended up with. I wish I could say that this is a good thing, which it helps me to have everything figured out. However, it doesn't, it usually just causes me more problems than I already have. So many times I find myself saying this:

My favorite verses are Matthew 6:25-27, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” It is when I remember this verse that I am reminded over thinking or over analyzing is really worrying. I have a commentary and it says this about this about verse 27: “Worry about the future is not only a dishonor to God—it is also futile. The Lord demonstrates this with a question “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?” A short person cannot worry himself eighteen inches taller. Yet relatively speaking, it would be far easier to perform this feat than to worry into existence all the provisions of one’s future needs.” The thing is I don’t have to worry that God does not know what my dreams and desires are he does and I have to remember that and trust that he has got everything under control.  I can’t imagine how much of my life or hours I have wasted by thinking how I might have done things differently, how this or that situation might have turned out differently had I chosen another way of doing things. I want to live life, am I going to get hurt, am I going to make mistakes…absolutely! But I don’t think God meant for us to be so worry or think too much about what could go wrong. Jesus said in John 10:10:

Today I had that moment of pure peace…oh that moment was wonderful! Where I just threw my hands in the air and said Lord I don’t know any more I don’t want to care or worry I want to just trust you that you have a plan and that my analyzing does nothing, but add stress to my life and gray to my hair. I think I am going to try and have more moments like that, because so far all “over thinking” has done is cause me unneeded stress. And has caused me to dishonor God as well…maybe you can jump on the band wagon with me!