Giving up..

I shaved a minute 40 off my one mile this morning. It was something I needed, not 12 hours earlier I was telling a friend I need my body to make some kind of advancement in my workouts. You see the voice that encourages me to "give up" has been alive and well here lately. It's been battling with the "keep going" voice. I've been down this road so many time, I've usually given up by now. Not really sure why I'm still pushing though it. Pushing myself through tough workouts, where sometimes compared to everyone else I look like a beached whale. Sometimes two WODs a day where my legs are still hurting three days later and walking down stairs or a hill may mean face planting. I've determined that it's easier for a person who was in shape to get back into shape, than it is for someone who was never in shape to get into shape. You see at least they know it's possible, they have been there before. All I have ever know is plus sizes clothes, elastic waist bands, and being told I have such a pretty face if I would just lose weight. So this week once again I asked myself why I keep going why haven't I quit.

I keep going because when I was in my early 20s I thought I was having a heart attack, no 20 year should fear that because of their health. I keep going because my knees have hurt less in the past two years than they have since high school. I keep going because I have met some of the most amazing people at CrossFit and competed in a sports competition, something I never thought would happen. I keep going because as someone told me this week about their own personal journey, "I was doing all this stuff for the Lord and serving Him yet I wasn't taking care of His temple." I was like wow, pretty true about myself. I'm still going because while home for Thanksgiving I helped my dad, at the age of 64, put a device on his legs to work the fluid and blood out of his legs after his long day of work. That is not something I want to be doing, I want to be traveling the world on my own two feet. I keep going because honestly I can't go back, it's just not an option. Because when I think about going back...I become sad and think of how far I've come. Not just how far physically, but emotionally and spiritually and in life. And because if I can be remembered for anything other than being a follower of Christ I would like it to be that I inspired someone, inspired someone else not to give up.